“There is time for the taking of a toast and tea,” so I am snatching a few minutes out of my schedule today to talk about the trip to BelTium (oops, I mean Belgium!) which I made last month.
First of all, dart to U.S. Airways (or is it continental?) for their lack of customer service. If that flight to Brussels was a movie (I’m using you all as guinea pigs for my screen writing class) it would go something like this:
EMILY, 21, sits crammed in a seat in coach, a shoulder bag taking up most of her leg room. A FLIGHT ATTENDANT enters with a beverage cart.
Something to drink?
Do you have decaf?
Exit flight attendant. Ten minutes pass.
Enter flight attendant with coffee.
Emily takes a sip, makes a face.
I know. It’s terrible, isn’t it?
(Trying to be polite.) It…does the job.
Exit flight attendant. Emily sets her coffee down on the tray table in front of her and puts in headphones. She watches the screen in front of her, presumably an in-flight movie.
The plane begins to shake. This is TURBULENCE and Emily doesn’t like it. She glances up toward the front of the plane.
(Mumbling to herself) I wish the captain would make
an announcement or something. (Beat) We’re all gonna die.
The turbulence continues. For six and a half hours.
Emily tosses in her seat, trying to nap.
Please God, I’ll never sin again…if I have to die,
please let the plane crash while I’m sleeping.
INT. PLANE, SIX HOURS LATER
A FLIGHT ATTENDANT comes over the intercom. Emily wakes up.
Just to let you know, the turbulence we’ve
been experiencing should end as soon as we get over
land, which will be in approximately thirty minutes.
Emily mumbles under her breath. Then:
Might have been nice to know that six hours ago.
Emily exits the plane, clutching her bag in one hand. She touches solid ground: the airport linoleum, and inhales deeply, letting it out in a rush.
Thank you, sweet Jesus.