I would like to submit my letter of resignation from your company, affectionately known as Real Life. I have found my fantasy land, and its name is Belgium.
It has chocolate covered waffles. You don’t.
As in, the sugar is INSIDE the waffles.
You don’t have that.
It also has milk chocolate shaped like elephants,
which you don’t have either.
And really good coffee.
And, also, Reality, you don’t have the Cutest Francophone in the World, who meets you AT the airport WITH the elephant-shaped chocolate and MAKES you the coffee and SERVES you the waffles.
Therefore, I tender my resignation, effective immediately.
Emily K. Iekel
P.S. You can’t fire me, I quit.